Subject: Tuesday Tidings - 17 August 1999
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Dionne Siley)
A better episode than those we've had to suffered in recent weeks, due
to the use of more interesting characters. Graham only appeared once
in this episode - maybe the producers have heeded our calls for less
of him. Or maybe not.
Anyway, we'll start with Stella, as we are building up to her
departure. We see her in Hotten, keeping an appointment with Laura her
new business adviser. Stella has finally realised that you're only
really popular when you've got money, and after the letdown by Our
Gavin she's made some big plans...
On the way there and back, Stella picks up Seth (who's off to make a
bet) and he dispenses some good advice about making and keeping
friends. Meantime, Ashley, Eric and Viv are looking for Stella to
fleece some more dosh from her; in the Woolie Seth tells them that she
needed some "personal" advice. Tongues wag and everyone thinks their
luck is in. We shall see...
The emergence of Sarah as a strong woman continues - she is refusing
to help out Jack unless he pays her, and later she refuses to cook any
tea for him until he sees her as a woman and *not* a skivvy. Meantime,
on tidying Pete's room before he goes on a trip, Sarah discovers a
bird watching manual under the bed. Seems that Pete the Brookie reject
is an ornithologist, plus he far prefers reading to getting pissed and
getting off with someone.
Sarah tells him about her former job (in the days of Madelaine Howard)
and how she has forgotten to give herself space to even read a book.
She resolves to pamper herself more, and tells Jack so when she
refuses to make tea for him. On hearing that Pete is an avid reader,
Jack ponders, "Is he gay?". Er Jack... we're in the 20th century now.
It looks like Sarah and Pete could be heading towards that plotline
marked "affair". That *would* be interesting to see.
In her latest top from Miss Selfridge, Kelly is all excited as she
collects Betty's cast offs. The mortgage seems to be going through
(although there's no mention of surveys, exchanging contracts etc) and
she wants to move in within the next month. Viv tries to see Stella to
tap her again for the money, to no avail (see above).
Emily & Butch
Butch is still trying to hide his relationship with Emily from her
dad, but Zak can't see why. He agrees to let things be, until Ollie of
all people persuades him that as the man of the house he should be
sorting Mr Wylie out.
Zak puffs out his chest and sets off, Ollie in the back (don't ask me
why). Having banished her to a cupboard, he insists on speaking to Mr
Mr W (let's call him John - easier to type) comes out and remarks that
he once saw Zak in some bare-knuckle fight in 1986. This breaks the
ice between them. Zak goes on to say that as heads of their respective
families, it's up to them to make sure their kids are OK. He tells
John that Butch is not like other lads - he tends to get too involved
with anyone he's liked in the past. Zak had to take a belt to him
after the Sophie debacle, but Butch is a better man for it.
John listens intently, and agrees to talk to Emily later. Zak goes out
to tell Butch & Emily the good news, and advises Emily to cook a meal
for her dad and discuss Butch while he's eating. Emily does just that,
only for John to twist Zak's words by telling her that because of
Butch's past, he will not be going *anywhere* near her. Emily is
Subject: Wednesday Warblings - 18/8/1999
From: Sarah <email@example.com>
Most of todays episode revolves around Stella and her parting shots,
but I thought Id get the other stuff out of the way before moving onto
the juicy bit. In fact the only other thing that really happens today
is a bit more of the Kathy saga .
Kathy is still in a foul mood all the time but Marlon insists on trying
to press her about changes to the Diner. He wants to try and attract
some different types of customers, though Betty is appalled at the
thought of truck drivers being the new clientele. Anyway, Kathys not
interested and she also gives Graham short shrift when he tries to talk
Stella and co
Eric, Butch, Viv, Bernice, Ashley and Alan(with Tricia in tow) have
been invited to Home Farm, though not realising that anyone else has
been invited, some of them think its their lucky day. On turning up
at the allotted hour they find they cant get in. Much to their
surprise Laura eventually opens the door as it turns out that Stella
has already left Emmerdale, only leaving a video of her for them to
It makes pretty gory viewing for those assembled as she doesnt hold
back with her scathing remarks and lets them all know exactly what she
thinks of them. Stella has something to say to each of them:
Ashley - she berates him for not listening when she needed him to and
informs him that she has donated the money he wanted to famine relief
instead. He is stunned as he didnt realise she needed his help.
Alan - she tells him that though he is a Gentleman he knows nothing
about women and is most upset that he could think she didnt need
passion. She also accuses Tricia of having no manners. He seems to
take her comments quite well, particularly when she admits that she is
quite fond of him, but isnt impressed by her parting gift of a
lifetime subscription to "Yorkshire Life" so he can experience the
Eric - having laughed at the misfortune of those before him, he is
shocked when it comes to his turn. She has some choice words for
him, "coniving little creep" being amongst them. She promptly fires
him, saying hell have to pay her back for the gym equipment swindle.
He makes some derogatory comments about Stella in return.
Viv - she calls the Windsors a problem family with Viv being the
biggest problem of all. Viv gets in a huff and storms out.
Bernice - she says that Bernice was her one true friend and that she
has deposited the £75000 for the Woolpack in Bernices account. Stella
then admits that she has something else to tell her (i.e. about Gavin),
at which point the video laughably goes on the fritz. It cuts back in
just in time to catch the end of a sentence about being careful who she
trusts (youd think with all that money she could at least afford a
decent video!). Bernice obviously hasnt got the hint though, she's
far too surprised about getting the money.
Butch - she has decided to leave him in charge as caretaker and
groundsman until a buyer can be found for Home Farm.
As a result of Stella's video Eric is thrown out of Home Farm by Butch,
Viv is anxious about what to tell Kelly and Tricia gives up her riding
lessons in disgust. Bernice, on the other hand, is on cloud nine as
Alan decides hed rather sell the Woolpack to her and she rushes off to
tell her Gavin. One other person who is happy is Chris who is
interested to hear from Laura that Home Farm will be on the market
Later Viv has to finally come clean with Kelly about lending her money
to Scott. Kelly gives one of her pouts and then lays into Viv both
verbally and physically, Viv crashing to the floor when Kelly whacks
her one on the nose!
Subject: Thursday Update - 19.8.99
From: "Christopher Aloysius Tate" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Time for us all to recover from Wednesday night. Stella doing a passable
Widow Twankey and Kelly dusting off her copy of that well known Beastie Boys
song "You've got to fight, for your right, to put down a mortgage deposit",
was far too much excitement for one week and so lets see where the regulars
WYLIES & BUTCH
Emily shows Butch an old copy of Wisden. Turns out that John's one
redeeming feature is that he is a cricket lover. She wants to watch Butch
in the cricket match but is worried that her Dad won't let her. Lynn is in
the Post Office buying beer and tells Emily she should go and tell her Dad
she has to work.
Emily tells Viv she wants to go the cricket match and if Viv were to ask her
to work even though she doesn't actually need her then it would not feel
like so much of a lie. Viv takes a little while to twig to this but in the
end goes through the motions of asking Emily to "work" the following day.
Emily agrees and looks thrilled at the subterfuge.
Later she is seen arguing with her father. She has told him she has to work
tomorrow and he isn't impressed because he doesn't like her being involved
in village life. She tucks him into bed and even though its still daylight
tells her father she is going to bed too. Instead she sneaks out to see
Butch. Fortunately for the storyline John isn't quite as thick as his
beard, and is stood looking at the window as Emily and Butch pass by.
Marlon, who seems to spend his life trying to persuade people to do things,
is arguing again with Kathy about her behaviour and the diner. She then
storms out telling him that she has things to do and as the place isn't busy
he will be OK.
Later she reappears telling him that she is taking Alice on holiday and as
he keeps going on about being a manager its time he got on with being one.
She leaves the diner faster than a speeding scone and Marlon is pictured
looking thoughtful and ambitious.
Lynn has passed her exams with a B and two C's. This is apparently enough
to get her into Agricultural college. She goes into the diner and tells
Marlon. He invites her out for a drink later on but she informs him she is
going to start drinking just as soon as she has bought some bottles.
As she is leaving the diner she sees Bernice and tells her her good news.
Bernice looks very unimpressed that its only a B and two C's and that she is
going to Agricultural college and not Oxbridge.
Later in the show Lynn is in the Wooly and is completely plastered. She is
falling all over the place and eventually breaks a glass. Bernice looks
disgusted and wonders how much of a fuss she would have made if she had got
some A's. She gets Gavin to take her to Marlon's.
The ownership saga moves on apace. Trisha and Alan are talking and Alan
says she should be nicer to Bernice. Tricia doesn't disagree but says she
hates the way Bernice talks to her as if she is some sort of halfwit.
RATUE'rs all over the country shout "because you are a halfwit!!!!!!". Alan
tells her that he will look for a little country cottage for them both to
live in and Tricia looks appalled at the thought. At least I think thats
what the expression was....
Bernice and Gavin discuss the Woolpack and she asks him what he thinks about
Alan and Tricia staying on. He doesn't want them to, but Bernice says she
feels very guilty about them having to leave.
Tricia speaks to Gavin and asks him to ask Bernice to let them stay on. She
says she is asking because Alan will be heartbroken to leave and she is
"only thinking of him". Gavin says its because she hates the thought of
living in a little country cottage. Tricia says that if he doesn't do it
she will tell Bernice about them sleeping together. Gavin calls her bluff
much to Tricia's surprise.
Later on, Tricia, who couldn't work out how to get out of a cul-de-sac, has
apparently worked out that Gavin was sleeping with Stella and she tells him
this, and says she is going to tell Bernice as soon as she returns to the
Woolpack. On Bernice's return Gavin whisks her into the back room before
Tricia can speak to her. He then tells Bernice that he is totally
committed to her and as a sign of his commitment he is going to get a loan
for the Woolpack in his name, but the pub will still be in hers. Further
to this he thinks it would be nice for Alan and Tricia to stay on in the
pub. Bernice is relieved.
Bernice tells Alan the news and he is happy and eventually accepts her
proposal. Tricia wonders if she will be able to keep her job. Later
Bernice and Tricia are talking outside the pub and Bernice offers her an
olive branch. Tricia asks if she can stay on and Bernice says "yes, if it
makes you happy". Sadly it would appear that Bernice is not so interested
in the feelings of the viewers.....
Throughout the episode, in conversations with Betty and Tricia, Bernice
continues to wonder what Stella meant by the comment "be careful with whom
you share your good fortune".
First scene of the show in the Post Office. Viv has a black eye, which she
spends the rest of the day covering with sunglasses. Donna tells her she
only has herself to blame and she should try and make it up with Kelly. She
also worries about her own money, but Viv tells her that it is all in trust
and completely safe.
Later Viv tries to make up to Kelly, who returns to pick up some stuff.
Kelly refuses to speak to her, other than issuing threats of another black
Kelly moans endlessly to Roy about the money and he simply tells her "Don't
get mad, get even". Kelly wonders how to do this, but the final scene of
the show has her bursting into the Post Office and stealing the keys to
Scott's sports car. Viv tries to warn Scott who is upstairs, but before he
gets down the stairs Kelly is driving off in the car. Unfortunately, Kelly
can't actually drive......