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This was a five episode week. Thanks to Dionne and Sarah for their usual, sterling, work and thanks to Mickey (email@example.com) for stepping in for Thusday and Friday.
Sadly, this episode saw the return of the ultra-boring Graham & Kathy
storyline, so to get that out of the way, I'll start with that.
Kathy is due to return later that night. Marlon gets into a panic as
he realises that he needs to sort out the books to offer a plasible
explanation to Kathy. Meantime, Graham puts on one of his stares and
offers to help by cleaning Kathy's house. Betty readily agrees.
Graham is so excited at the thought of Kathy's return that he
completely forgets that he is a teacher and does no work for the rest
of the day. Eventually, Kathy & Alice returns. Alice is banished to
the cupboard while Graham tells her that he would like to start again
and that the past shouldn't stop them. Kathy tells him that she
doesn't want a relationship and asks him to leave. Cue another of
Graham's stares. Yawn.
Kelly & Roy are still trying to raise the money for the deposit. Kelly
suggests a loan company, but Roy says no (for once). Meantime, Scott
feels guilty that he spent the money and seems to be plotting to get
it back somehow.
Later, Kally and Roy are in the village when they see the estate agent
with another buyer. It would appear that when the agent promised the
cottage to them without a deposit, Miss Piggy took them at their word.
Pete comes in on his day off to help Liam load a lorry. On the count
of 3, they drop the crate on Pete's foot. Chris is unimpressed, and
even less so when x-rays reveal that Pete has broken a couple of toes.
Chris threatens to stop his pay altogether while he's off work, but
Sean perusades him to pay at least half of his wages.
-- Ollie returns home, feeling ever so important. Her parents are in a
forgiving mood; Sean even buys Zak & Lisa a drink later on. But the
Dingles decide to keep away from Ollie.
-- Viv is like a bitch on heat about Richie. Her ego is loudly
deflated when Dopey appears to want a crack at him.
-- Bernice is planning a grand opening for the Woolpack, inviting the
local press. Sadly, she fails to realise that she's opening a village
pub and not the new Ministry of Sound.
A better episode than the previous evening, although we did have a
rehash of another unexciting storyline as Balsa & Miss Piggy came to
Kathy returns to the Diner to see all Marlon's changes.
Unsurprisingly, she is angry and sacks Marlon on the spot, despite him
telling her that the Diner has made increased profits since the
changes were made. She decides to keep Sarah on as a cook, and is
consodering taking Marlon back when Marc walks in. He tells Kathy that
the changes were all his idea. Kathy is appalled.
Graham, as ever, is close at hand (does he do *any* work?). Later in
the Woolpack, he suggests to Marlon to put all the blame on Marc, who
has far less to lose than he does. Marlon tries this, but Kathy thinks
that he either left the Diner in the hands of a minor, or he's blaming
Marc unfairly. Either way, he's sacked.
Kathy's day deosn't improve when she returns from school with Alice,
to find Elsa waiting for her at the door....
Chris leaves for work to find his tyres slashed. Zoe comes up at that
point to offer sympathy, but he only succeeds in alienating her by
blaming Maggie & Frankie. Zoe reminds him that Frankie couldn't give a
shit about him, but that doesn't stop Chris going to the police.
Later, Sean, Angie & Laura are in the Woolie; Chris wheels in and
demands that Angie haul in Maggie for questioning. Angie refuses,
saying that it isn't her case (makes a change). Sean points out that
he's got plenty of enemies without adding Maggie to the list.
Mandy comes out of Wentworth Detention Centre, and trots off to see
Miss Piggy after seeing her family. Kelly tells her that she's lost
her house thanks to Scott. On cue, Balsa Boy walks in, telling Kelly
that he needs to see her. Mandy immediately takes over once more,
telling hin to get lost.
Undeterred, Balsa comes back later, telling Miss Piggy that they used
to be best mates and he wants to be that way again. Through her tears,
Kelly tells him that it's all over between them and she despises him.
Later, with her bodyguard Mandy in tow, she asks him to leave the
village and states that he hopes he crashes his car and dies.
Thankfully, that was the end of such childish dialogue, as Scott takes
her at her word, crashing into the nearest ditch. Sadly, he survives -
as a block of wood he would be on fire were he to die.
Kathy and Alice wonder what Elsa is up to suddenly turning up out of
the blue. Kathy has a chat to Elsa in the diner where she tells Kathy
that she just wants to get to know Alice better. She's come back as
she's grown up now and realises her responsibilities. Kathy gets
defensive and insists that she loves Alice as if she were her own
Alice is also unsure round Elsa and wants to go to her room (i.e. the
cupboard) rather than sit and talk to her. Elsa wants to see Alice on
her own but Kathy is reluctant.
The vendetta against Chris is escalating as he turns up at Tate Haulage
to find grafitti daubed over the trucks. The super sleuth comes to
investigate (apart from the fact she said it wasn't her case yesterday)
but Chris doesn't want to accuse anyone in front of the police as he
now thinks it was their ex-client Jackson who was responsible. He
wants Terry to go and threaten him again, but Terry won't so Chris
phones him up himself and has a go.
Later Chris' nose is put further out of joint when Zoe refuses to help
him buy back Home Farm and the day is rounded off wonderfully when he
gets home to find someone has ransacked the cottage.
Kelly and Scott
Scott arrives in Emmerdale first thing in a taxi having spent the night
in hospital. Despite the fact that he only has a few cuts and bruises,
Kelly feels sorry for him and starts fawning all over him. He tells
her that he crashed his car in order to get the insurance money so he
could pay her back.
Mandy gets suspicious about what's going on between Scott and Kelly,
but when she tries to talk to her, Kelly just gives her the brush off.
Meanwhile, Roy has found another cottage for them to look at, but Kelly
thinks it looks like a dump from the pictures and description.
Scott tries it on again with Kelly but she resists telling him she's
married now and that Roy loves her (note she doesn't say that she loves
When Mandy finally catches up with Kelly she tearfully tells her what
happened with Scott but that it was a once off and won't happen again.
She's upset because Scott won't leave her alone and despite her initial
disgust Mandy gives her a shoulder to cry on.
Mostly Chris tonight, but a lot happening to a few others as well.
Kathy worries about Elsa spending time with Alice, and is unhappy about them going out together after school. When the pair don't return until late she becomes
frantic, prompting Graham to stick his oar in again. When Elsa does return, Kathy's frustration makes her appear to be the bad guy in front of Alice, who is
Mandy and Kelly--
Mandy and Kelly meanwhile are discussing Roy and Scott. Mandy thinks that Kelly only married Roy to avoid Scott's advances (surely not!) Kelly wishes that
Scott had never left the army.
Butch and Mandy--
Butch and Emily tussle over their shared brain cell, as Butch prepares to have his marriage to Mandy annulled. With this over, he and Mandy discuss relationships
over a Mr Whippy (as you do). Butch doesn't think Roy and Kelly are suited, which only serves to make Mandy even more worried. Following the annulment
celebrations she tells Scott to leave Emmerdale immediately, as that is the only way left for him to show that he cares about Kelly.
Chris yet again shows off his remarkable people skills, as he deals with a collection of visitors to his ransacked house. Although he spares Kathy a kind word he is
clearly showing signs of strain, and the ransacked house has made him worried about Joseph's safety. The mystery of his tormentor deepens when Claudia reveals
that family photos have been stolen, and the frames left undamaged. Chris goes to visit Frank's grave, only to find "As ye sow, scum" scrawled across the stone. He
promptly blows up at Ashley, getting a telling off from ZoŽ which leaves him feeling even more got at than before. Alone, he receives a threatening phone call from a
mysterious man with a disguised voice that Chris thinks he recognises.
Mostly Chris again, but also lots going on at The Woolpack.
The Grand Opening--
Trisha takes delivery of the new sign announcing Bernice's license-holding. Something about the sign makes her try to put off its erection until a more appropriate
moment. When the sign in unveiled, revealing the legend "Bernice Blockstack", Bernice nearly blows up, but Marlon defuses the situation just in time. Later on
Bernice makes a presentation of a plaque for Alan at the bar next to Seth's. Alan is less than impressed. Marlon is walking on cloud nine though, as he prompts
Bernice to give him a full time catering job at The Woolpack.
Kathy snaps at Alice, showing signs of stress over Elsa's return, whilst Graham lurks, Graham-like, in the background. Later on in The Woolpack Elsa reveals that
she intends to get Alice back. Kathy blows up at her, and they argue. Kathy goes to Laura for advice about a possible custody battle, and says that she is sure
Alice will want to stay with her. Later still, once more in The Woolpack, she runs in to Graham, who is less than impressed at Kathy's news that Chris is going to
help her over the Elsa business. Cue the Patent-Pending Psycho-Graham stare that closes so many a scene.
Scott and Kelly--
Scott reveals that he can't get any insurance money because the car wasn't a write-off. Kelly tells him to go away, and he takes her at her word and prepares to
move out of the house. She begs him to stay, but tells him that they can only be friends. After she leaves he burst into tears (and practically cries wood preserver).
Chris meanwhile is understandably very much on-edge, and in his usual loveable way is busy snapping at everyone in sight. As ever, though, he spares kind words
for Kathy, yet again prompting the question what is it about her that never fails to turn him into the very image of infuriating sweetness. He does not seem himself
though, and not only is he morose, he is also very complimentary about Roy. (The stress really is getting to him). He tells Kelly that she's made a good choice.
Later on, at the haulage office, Kelly is about to ask for some money for the cottage when ZoŽ blows in and starts yelling at Chris, who as usual feels obliged to yell
back. Now well wound up he yells at Kelly too, prompting Terry The Bodyguard to leave. When Angie arrives to meet Sean, Chris has a go at her as well, being
less than impressed with the efficiency of the local police force (which is hardly surprising since it seems to consist solely of Angie and the less-than-vigilant DI
Spalding). Sean storms off in a rage leaving Angie behind, thus placing himself on the Police List Of Suspect Chrisnappers.
Later still, ZoŽ and Laura discuss Chris over drinks. ZoŽ suggests that her brother may be lacking in one or two social skills, and says she wants nothing more to do
with him. Meanwhile the Illustrious Wheeled One is attacked by a chloroform-wielding arm, and although he struggles he is soon overwhelmed. As the arm
withdraws, he slumps into unconsciousness.