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They were previously on his site. Please go and visit: it is a great site

Bill Sands -

Dionne"s Weekly Ditherings 6-8-9/April 1999

Not a lot to report in terms of storylines this week. The main one
concerned Graham & Rachel - the writers have finally realised that
Graham is supposed to be a psycho and are portraying him as such.

The week starts with Graham packing up Rahcel's clothes to give to Da
Vicka - after buying her one dress he wants to revamp her whole
wardrobe. Rachel is understandably pissed off at this, and tells him so.
Graham goes off in a sulk and flounces to the car, Rachel in hot
pursuit. He then leads her on a high speed drive (David Coulthard is
quaking in his F1 jersey) and nearly crashes into some bushes...

No, they don't die. Rachel is in shock, as is Graham, who apologises
instead of saying his usual line "I knew you'd see it my way." She tells
him that evening that she wants him to move out - it's not the end of
the relationship, she just wants some space.

Graham can't deal with this, and the very next day he puts his house on
the market and tells her that he wants to spend the rest of his life
with her. Rachel is confused - one minute he's Bunny Boiler 1999, the
next minute he's declaring his love at any given opportunity. But she
agrees that they're still together. He's so happy he arranges another
surprise - a makeover from Stella.

Stella goes to work, the result being that Rachel's hair is now auburn.
Graham is ecstatic, and rushes to his cottage to get some of his stuff.
Rachel, carrying it in, drops a box by mistake - and sees a picture of
him with his dead wife. Guess what?? Her hair is brown as well - and
Rachel bears a disturbing resemblance to her. The plot thickens....

Chris & McGann

After undercutting each other into near bankruptcy, McGann & Chris agree
to go into business together. The new outfit will be known as Tate's
Haulage, with a 50/50 split between the pair. Neither trusts each other
in the slightest, but they seal the deal with some cheapo whisky, and
later with champagne (where McGann gets the money from to buy champagne
is - as ever - overlooked by the writers).

McGann organises a party to celebrate the new venture, and the truckies
get to socialise with each other. Among them is a female trucker called
Frankie, who happens to be a lesbian. The perfect romance for Zoe... who
takes one look at her and falls instantly in lust. Meantime, McGann is
impressed by Zoe and turns on the charm. Imagine his horror the next day
when Laura tells him the score...

Zoe later turns up at the office and hangs around for ages, hoping for a
glimpse of Frankie. Eventually she appears, and blanks Zoe completely.

Poor Zoe. Will she ever find love??

Scott & Kelly

Scott, in the space of several minutes and with no experience
whatsoever, manages to score a job as an IT salesman. Viv is suitably
proud, but Kelly isn't so keen, especially as he's going up in the world
while she's stuck with Roy. Having said that though, Scott has only
managed to sell 2 PCs so far. Moneywise, Miss Piggy's better off with

Chris takes time out from his feuding with McGann to take Kelly out to
lunch. He tries to persuade her not to marry Roy.

Chris (to Miss Piggy): He's a nice enough lad, in a dull and mediocre
sort of way...

However, Miss P still insists that she loves Roy, but Chris isn't
fooled. Indeed, the only fool at the moment is Roy.


Paddy feels at home amongst the Dingles again, even if it means that
they expect *everything* for free. His ex telephones to let him know
that Mrs Kirk is ill. He decides to see her to see if she'll accept
Mandy again.

At first all goes well. Mrs K apologises for the trouble she caused, and
Paddy decides to forgive her. She then asks about Her Patrick's love
life, and he tells her that not only is he back with Mandy, he intends
to marry her.

Mrs K throws her usual strop, but StudPaddy surprises the viewers by
standing up to her. He tells her that he will do as he likes, and that
he never wants to see her again. Even a visit from his ex won't change
his mind.

Hmm. I sense an imminent confrontation between Mandy and Mrs Kirk in the

Biff & Kathy

This story arc seems to have been bubbling under since I came online in
late July! Anyway, Biff *finally* admits that he's in love with Kathy,
and has been since the accident. He seethes with jealousy as Kathy and
Pete edge closer together, but despite Marlon's promptings, he can't
bring himself to say anything.

However, Pete trots off on a trucking expedition, and Marlon hints to
Kathy that Biff is worried about something, but won't tell him because
he's not as close to her as Kathy is. She goes over to the Diner to see
him. He eventually finds the courage to tell her how he feels, and they
fall into an embrace.... but then she pushes him away, telling him that
she's fond of him but doesn't love him.

We'll see. If they do get it on, I hope Biff has taken out some life