Back to 1999 Update Index or 1972-2002 Episode Index or Lane Kent's Emmerdale
Dionne's Ditherings 1-3 June 1999
A very quiet week by Emmerdale's standards, with affairs of the heart
dominating the proceedings. Let's start with Roy & Kelly.
Thanks to Chris, Roy & Kelly are enjoying themselves in Paris. Roy
wants to go sightseeing, but Miss Piggy decides to makes herself look
beautiful (well, anything's worth a shot) and order untold room
service goodies. While she's enjoying a manicure, she informs Roy that
their marriage will not be your bog-standard, trouble-filled, soapland
affair, but will actually work. For it to do so, Roy has to work all
the hours God sends to keep Kelly in the style she feels she deserves.
Roy is perplexed by this, but becuase he's so in love he decides that
he'll do anything for her. we shall see how long that lasts.
Meantime, Biff & Marlon decide to stay with their respective partners
for a week to allow Roy & Miss P to have the cottage for themselves.
The pair are pleased, but reality soon hits when Kelly ends up
cleaning the fridge while Roy is down the pub. She insists that they
will take turns in doing the housework, and that the marriage will be
equal in every way. Hmm... as long as it's Kelly's way, then all shall
So... bets on how long this marriage lasts? Considering that the
writers feel that relationships never last longer that a few weeks,
expect the marriage to be over by mid-July.
Butch and Emily
Ah - this is more like it. *Good* acting and a realistic portrayal of
the very early stages of a romance. Butch finds himself in the PO at
every given opportunity, trying hard to have a conversation with
Emily. She, on the other hand, is very shy and finds it difficult to
respond without running for her bus first.
Butch is unsure what to do, so he turns to Terry. Terry, borrowing
lyrics from a 70s song, informs Butch that "Some girls need a lot of
loving and some girls don't." He then advises Butch to ask her out.
Butch finally plucks up the courage on Thursday to ask Emily out, and
she agrees to meet him in the Woolpack at lunchtime. On her way over,
she meets up with Betty and tells her that Butch is sweet and that she
feels safe because he's married. Betty tells her that it was a
marriage of convenience, and that he's really keen on her. Paralysed
with fear, Emily scuttles back to the shop.
Meantime, Butch is in the Woolie, all excited until Betty tells him
that Emily isn't coming. In a particularly well-acted scene, Butch
laments about his lack of luck with women, particularly as Emily was
different from the others. Wonderful stuff. I look forward to seeing
how this develops.
Zoe and Frankie
It all happened on Thursday, when Zoe *finally* got her woman (well,
sort of). Frankie is looking for a partner for a pool night, and as
Pete the Brookie reject isn't available Zoe offers to go. Despite her
lack of knowledge about pool, Zoe does a credible job (at probably the
cleanest pool place in Britain) and Frankie is impressed.
However, one of Jack's cows chooses that moment to go into a difficult
labour. As StudPaddy is out on a call, Zoe has to attend and takes
Frankie along as chaperone. The cow is in distress, but Zoe does her
business and the calf is born.
Frankie, who has been helping out at this point, is absolutely amazed,
especially when Zoe breaths life into the calf. In excitement, she
kisses Zoe, then gets embarrassed at bolts off. Zoe is perplexed, but
secretly pleased that Frankie has finally responded.
Tate Haulage is in serious financial difficulties. McGann persuades
Laura to look over the Darrow contract (which is causing the problems)
to see if there is any legal loophole for earning more money. Laura,
all gleeful because a) her ex is in trouble and b) she drew up the
contract in the first place, says that it is watertight and gives them
a fee for her trouble. Considering that Roy & Kelly ran up over £2000
in Paris, this causes Chris serious problems.
In desperation, Chris goes over to apologise to Laura, secretly hoping
that his "charm" can woo her to help him again. Laura teels him where
to go. Meantime, McGann suggests that Chris tap Zoe for the money
needed to save the business. Chris fiannly conceded that it's not a
Bernice and Tricia are still fighting it out over the Woolpack.
Bernice is ahead on points, having presented a financial plan to the
bank manager. Meantime, Dopey sets up a co-operative with Seth and
Zak. Seth has ponced a new computer off Zoe and uses it to devise a
financial plan. They work out that they only need £750 for a deposit
on the Woolie. Sounds good, until El Tel points out that they actually
As luck would have it, Tricia is having a chat later in the week with
Mandy and Laura, who tell her that Chris has paid for the honeymoon.
Tricia decides to use her non-charm and PVC trousers to tempt Chris
into backing her plan....
Scott & Richie trick Pollard into evicting Mandy so that they can use
the space for thier business. I'd say more, but I'm still pulling the
splinters from my eyes.
The Graham saga rumbles on. Kathy is now dropping everything to help
Graham out at every given opportunity, while he pretends to mope over
a woman he's just murdered. Hopefully Pollard will make Graham crack
soon, as this storyline is getting *really* boring.....